2 Broke Starks
by iamgoku
Summary: Darcy Lewis and Max Black lead very different, but far from ordinary lives. Darcy spends her days wrangling scientists and college degrees. Max spends her days running a cupcake business. Both juggle all of that with the chaos of being Tony Stark's daughters.


**Ok, welcome to this new crossover story ( I am always surprised there's not more '2 Broke Girls/MCU' crossovers.**

 **This was a collab work written by myself and 'Whedonista93'**

 **She has some great works on here, but most of her stories (and newer ones) can be found on Archive of Our Own, under the same author name.**

 **You should check out her stories, they are great.**

 **We spent the past few days brainstorming ideas for MCU based ( and crossover) stories, and this is what was born ( among other story ideas, but for them, you'll have to wait XD)**

 **I hope you enjoy**

* * *

"Okay, look, I get the whole adopted thing," Darcy waves her mom off, "because you've always told me that, but a _twin_?"

Her mom's shoulders slump. "We wanted to take you both, but your birth mother… she wanted to keep one of you."

"Why?" Darcy asks in disgust.

Her mom's expression mirrors her own. "I don't want you to think badly of your mother, honey."

"Mom…"

"She wanted leverage over your father."

Darcy freezes. "There's no father's name on my birth certificate."

"No, there's not. I didn't know who he was until last week when she called me."

"My birth mother called you?" The sixteen year old asks in surprise.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"She filed for a paternity test and is filing for back child support. If she's telling the truth about who your father is… it will affect you, Darcy. He will find out about you."

"Who is he?"

"Who the fuck are you and why do you have my face?"

Darcy rolls her eyes. "You must be Max."

"Are those fingerless gloves? Son of a bitch, I share my face with a fucking hipster," her twin complains.

* * *

"Max!"

Max flinches. That decibel of Caroline's voice can only mean one thing. "What celebrity just walked in?"

Caroline sticks her head through the door. "Tony Stark!"

Max shoots up from her slouch at the counter and slams out into the dining room, coming face to face with the man in question. "What the fuck are you doing here you old bastard?! I told you I don't want anything from you!"

Tony holds his hands out in front of himself defensively. "And I told you that I didn't know! If I had you never would have needed to want anything from me, because you would have had it! I may be an asshole, but I would never abandon my kids!"

Caroline gapes and spins on her with an accusing look. "Your dad is Tony Stark! I thought you said you didn't know your dad?!"

"More like I wish I didn't know him," Max mutters.

Tony groans. "Okay come on, you can't blame me for all the crap your mom put you through! I've spent the last few years trying to make it up to you. You can't blame me for something you won't _let_ me do! I've got a new tactic this time. You want your own cupcake shop, I'll buy you a whole chain, you can have stores all across the country if you want them."

Caroline squeals. "Max! You go over there and make up with your father right now!"

Max scoffs. "No way, he can jam his money up his iron plated ass."

Tony rolls his eyes. "I'm gonna do it whether you accept it or not. If you accept it, at least you get a say in it."

Caroline steps behind her and shoves her forward. "Go. Right now, go, damnit, or our shops are all gonna be too high tech gold and red monstrosities."

Tony peers at her over his glasses. "You know I can hear you over there, Barbie, right?"

The door chimes and Darcy breezes in.

Caroline freezes in shock.

Max sighs. "Oh great, and you brought the hipster."

Darcy smirks. "Nice to see you too, sis."

Caroline promptly loses her shit, babbling about look-alikes and secrets.

Darcy ignores her and hands Max a tablet containing Tony's concepts for the shop. Just as Caroline predicted, glass, chrome, red and gold. Lots of computers and machines.

Max flips through them twice before using the tablet to bang against her head. "Fuck you both. Fine! You win!"

Meanwhile Caroline is still having a brain aneurysm over there being 'two Max's' and Darcy is standing in front of her, snapping her fingers under the blonde's nose in an attempt to snap her out if it.

Tony looks far too smug and satisfied as Max slams back into the kitchen, muttering under her breath about annoying relatives.

* * *

As it turns out, the floor in Stark Tower that Tony has been pestering them to take the metaphorical keys to -in reality it's all biometric - is equipped with a full commercial kitchen. A mutual love of all baked goods turns out to be the first chip in the walls around Max's heart. Darcy - the feelsy, emotional bitch - had given in after whatever fiasco went down in New Mexico that she was so cagey about.

Max is sprawled on the couch in the open living space as Darcy putters around the kitchen. "Darce, cupcake me, bitch!"

Darcy rolls her eyes and throws a cupcake.

Just as Max reaches up to catch it, only for one of Tony's gauntlets to fly in and intercepts it.

"Hey!" Both girls' shouts ring through the room as it flies back out.

 _"Sorry spawns,"_ Tony's voice sing-songs over the intercom a few seconds later, _"you snooze you lose!"_

"Oh, we'll show you lose!" Max threatens.

Tony cackles and affects an overly dramatic villain voice. _"I am master of this domain, all spawns will submit to my authority!"_

Darcy cocks her head at Max. "Think he can take us if band together?"

Max grins. "I think he'll learn to regret his existence."

Darcy turns and winks at the nearest camera. "Watch your back, old man. We're staging a coup."

Tony is, for once in his life, suitably worried.

* * *

"Is he serious with this shit?" Darcy fumes as she chucks her StarkPad across the room?

Max raises an eyebrow. "What's got your panties twisted up your vagina?"

"Fucking Sokovia Accords."

"Oooh, that's the thing that the old man is supporting and the popsicle doesn't like, right?"

Darcy pushes the plate of cupcakes across the coffee table. "Very good. Reward yourself."

Max takes a cupcake and bites into it before asking, with her mouth full, "So what's the problem with it?"

"Everything," Darcy groans. "Short version: it could make people like Cap and Wanda criminals. And it puts the Avengers unders major government oversight."

Max scrunches her nose. "No one gets to boss our superheroes around! How do we fix it?"

"Friday, when are they meeting about this shit?"

 _"The meeting regarding the Sokovia Accords is currently in progress,"_ the AI answers.

"Awh, fuck!" Max rolls off the couch. Let's go."

Darcy follows her onto the elevator. "Screw Team Popsicle and Team Tin Can. We'll be Team tasercakes and we'll kick both their asses."

Max rolls her eyes. "You really need to cut back on the social media. But yeah, not putting up with the drama today."

They step off the elevator and head for the conference room. The door clicks open before they even reach it. Darcy smiles. "Thanks, Friday."

Max storms in first, zeroes in on the stack of paper in front of Tony, and promptly picks them up and smacks him with it.

Ross shoots to his feet. "Excuse me, this is a private meeting!"

Max waves the papers at him warningly. "Cork it, General Zod!"

Darcy whirls on Tony. "And you ! Have you lost your mind?!"

Tony shakes his head. "We need to consider this-"

Max smacks him upside the back of the head with the stack of papers. "Consider that, you old bastard!"

Ross is turning red. "Stark! What's the meaning of this?!"

Max narrows her eyes at him. "I said can it, Zod. We'll get to you in a minute.'

Tony bangs his head on the table. "How did you guys even get in here?"

Darcy shrugs. "I'm Friday's favorite."

Tony scoffs.

Steve shuffles his chair back. "Look you girls should probably-"

Darcy snatches a page from Max and wads it up before throwing it at him. "Um, hold up there Spangles, we are not girls."

Max nods. "First of all, we are confident and badass young _women_."

"And second, we will not put up with your shit, either," Darcy continues.

"Or this shit in general," Max waves the papers in the air.

Darcy punches Tony in the arm. "Plus guilt tripping Wanda with all your bullshit, so not cool."

Rhodey waves to grab her attention. "Darcy, this is a major political issue here."

Max laughs. "Dude, you really want to tangle with her? She's a political science boss up in this bitch."

Ross is well on his way from red to purple. "Will somebody get them the hell out of here?"

Rhodey lifts his hands in surrender. "Butting out."

Tony lifts his head. "Girls, really? Whatever I did this time, can we talk about it later? I swear I didn't touch the shop."

Max looks at him like he's stupid. "I just slapped you with your stupid political compensation agreement and you think this is about the shop?!"

Tony sputters. "I am not compensating!

Darcy rolls her eyes. " _Riiiiiight_ , so this isn't a guilt thing?"

Max turns to Darcy. "Feels a _looot_ like a guilt thing."

Steve glares. "It's not about guilt, it's about Tony and the government trying to control us."

Darcy glares back. "Okay, if you open your mouth one more time, and I don't like what you say, I will hit you upside the head with your own shield."

"It's not about control! It's about accountability!" Tony protests.

Steve leans forward. "Since when do you care about accountability, Stark? When it's suddenly convenient for you?"

Darcy picks up his shield and drops it it on his head.

Steve rubs his head and gapes as his shield clangs onto the table. "Ow."

Max laughs. "She warned you."

Darcy turns back to Tony. "He does have a point, though. You're Tony fucking Stark. Not letting the government tell you what to do is like a staple of who you are and if you give it up now, I'm going to be very disappointed in you."

Tony shakes his head and mutters. "This is so backwards. Isn't that supposed to be my line?

Max scoffs. "Maybe if you ever actually grow up."

"Hey!" Tony stands. "Don't forget who you're talking to. I am the parent here, this isn't the other way around. And you two have no idea what it's like doing the kind of things we do!"

Darcy raises her hand. "Um, London anyone? Have I ever mentioned how I helped stop a dark elf invasion from taking over our world?"

Sarcasm drips from Max's tongue. "Nope, don't think that's ever came up."

Tony shakes his head tiredly and retakes his seat. "Look, this doesn't concern you two. Just let us handle it."

Darcy glares at him. "Actually, I have a vested interest in these people."

"And I have a vested interest in her," Max adds.

"It concerns us," they chorus.

Steve opens and shuts his mouth several times before managing, "Parent?!"

Tony turns to him, "Yes, parent." He turns back to the girls. "Seeing as this is an Avengers issue, and you two aren't Avengers, you don't _really_ have a say here."

Max turns back to Darcy. "Should we slap him with the Accords again?"

Darcy nods. "I think we'll have to until he gets it through his head how much of an idiot he's being."

"Okay," Steve interrupts, "am I the only one concerned that Stark has children?"

Max lobs another piece of paper at him. "Still not your turn yet, Cap."

Darcy is solely focused on Tony. "Listen up, asshole. Thor is my bro. Bruce is my buddy. They both may have fucked off into space, but they will be back eventually. Ever since New Mexico, Clint has been the big brother I never asked for and with Clint comes Nat. They are all my family as much as you are. Hell, I actually picked them, you were a given. It effects them so it effects me and if you think it doesn't, fuck you, you old asshole."

Steve settles back in his chair. "Okay, they're definitely his kids."

Max's next projectile is a cupcake she digs out of bag slung over her shoulder. It hits him square in the nose.

Tony sighs. "Look, sweetheart-"

Darcy claps a hand over his mouth. "No, ok you don't get to 'sweetheart' me. If you really cared, you'd take our words and opinions into consideration here."

Steve finally seems to recover his voice as he stares at the mess of cake and frosting on the table in front of him. "Who throws a cupcake?!"

Max waves a finger at him. "Keep it up and it'll be an ashtray next."

Ross growls and starts toward Max. "Okay, that's it, you two better get out of here within the next five seconds or else!"

Max cocks her head curiously. "Friday, does that count as a threat to my person?"

 _"Not explicitly, but it is well enough implied,"_ Friday answers,

Max grins. "Good enough for me. Initiate the Diarrhea Protocol."

Suddenly Ross' chair knocks into the back of his knees and locks him into place on his ass before forcibly wheeling him right the fuck out of the tower.

Steve looks both shocked and mildly disgusted at the protocol name. "Why on earth is it called that!" he exclaimed.

Max merely sent him a smirk. "Cause it helps evacuate pieces of shit out of this building"

Rhodey stares nonplussed at her before speaking up. "You do realise that's a court martial offense?!"

Max shrugs. "Wouldn't be my first, Jimbo."

Darcy grins. "Besides, one advantage to being related to this three year old man child," she gestures to Tony, "is an army of the best damn lawyers in the world."

Rhodey seems hesitant. "Still, he _is_ under the banner of the UN; he has privileges."

Darcy quirks an eyebrow. "And we've got a Pepper."

Max glares at Tony. "Which is more than what you've got right now."

Tony winces.

Darcy grimace. "Okay, maybe that was a low blow, but can you not see how your actions are affecting those close to you? Do you know the two of us spent all of last weekend trying to get Pepper out of a serious funk? She spent the whole two days stuck to our couch eating ice cream and crying over Tom Jones albums."

Max nods. "And you _know_ someone's emotionally fucked up when they're crying over Tom Jones!"

Tony throws his hands in the air in frustration. "What do you want me to do?!"

Max waves papers in the air. "NOT THIS!"

"I could think of like a dozen things better than this!" Darcy adds. "And that's before I caffeinate."

Rhodey rolls his eyes. "Oh, well by all means, let's just let you two girls take on the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, hm?"

Max shrugs. "I've heard worse ideas."

Darcy looks thoughtful. "The current Minister current _is_ about to retire…"

"Daddio," Max smiles sweetly at Tony, "Does the current president like you?"

Rhodey flails. "Girls, that was sarcasm!"

Tony is mirroring Darcy's thoughtful expression. "Hold that thought, Rhodey Bear, the girls might actually be onto something."

Vision finally speaks up from the corner. "They do work extraordinarily well together."

Steve stands. "Oh come on! They're practically kids!"

Darcy quirks an unimpressed eyebrow. "I have a masters degree in political science."

"It would be a doctorate if you'd just submit your damn final thesis," Max needles.

Darcy flips her off.

"And they've managed my life for the last few years," Tony argues for them.

Rhodey laughs. "Compared to that, foreign relations would actually be a piece of cake. I withdraw my earlier sarcasm."

Steve shakes his head. "You can't be serious-"

"Hey!" Tony cuts him off. "They may not by much more than kids," he walks over to Darcy and Max, "but they're _my_ kids, and I should support them."

Darcy shrugs. "Besides, it's us or these stupid fucking Accords."

"There's gotta be another option," Steve protests weakly.

Max steps over and pats his cheek. "It's adorable that you think so."

"I'm not adorable," Steve grumps, even as he blushes.

Max laughs. "Oh sorry, sorry, I should have said _virgin_."

Steve sputters.

Natasha steps out of the shadows along the wall with a grin. "She's not wrong."

Steve turns bright red. "Natasha!"

Tony slings an arm over Darcy's shoulder and motions for Max. "Come on kiddo, bring it in here."

Max rolls her eyes, but obligingly tucks herself under his other arm before the three head toward the hall.

Steve blinks. "What just happened?"

Rhodey slumps in his chair. "Pretty sure I just accidentally gave the Stark's their first step in taking over the world."

Vision nods. "My calculated projections show that to actually be a viable potential outcome."

Darcy pops her head back through the door. "Come on Wanda, let's blow this joint."

Wanda looks up startled. "Me?"

Darcy grins. "Yes, you. We're not leaving you unattended with any of these assholes. Until further notice, consider yourself glued to me or Max."

"I will literally use some of the bonding agent we stole from the lab if need be!" Max calls from the hall.

Wanda gets up and shuffles along behind them awkwardly.

Darcy throws an arm over her shoulders. "Relax, kid. Wooh! I think this calls for a girl's night!"

Max grins. "I'll call Pepper"

"To call el presidente or to join girls night?" Darcy inquires. "Nat! Come on, you're invited too."

"Both," Max answers.

Tony frowns. "I thought I was calling the president."

Darcy shakes her head. "We all know he likes Pepper better."

"Pretty sure most people do," Max mutters as she fiddles with her phone.

"Hey!" Tony protests.

"Not our fault you've alienated a large percentage of the population," Darcy tells him.

"They're not wrong," Rhodey's voice comes from behind.

Tony glares over his shoulder. "When and why did you even follow us?"

Darcy narrows her eyes. "Wasn't there another asshole in that conference room with Zod? Who's with him?"

Rhodey rolls his eyes at them. "Unlike your father, I remain aware of my surroundings. Vision was escorting him out."

"I approve." Max nods. "I hate intruders coming into our house."

Natasha raises an eyebrow. " _Your_ house?"

Darcy nods. "Well technically this is a Stark owned complex, and when the old man kicks it, me and Max will own this joint."

Max doesn't look up from her phone. "Originally I wasn't too into the idea of inheriting anything from the old bastard, but I figured I could redecorate it, like _major_ redecoration, so many things would be getting donated to charity, I kid you not."

"Nothing here needs redecorating," Tony bristles. "It's all tasteful."

Darcy scoffs "Yeah, it really does leave a rather bad taste in our mouths."

"Exactly," Max smirks. "It's all bland."

"It has no personality," Darcy continues.

" _Completely_ uninviting," Max adds.

"Okay, I get it!" Tony bursts. "But, it's a business! I don't want people to feel _too_ comfortable."

Darcy pushes her glasses up on her nose. "There is absolutely no difference between the office levels and the residential levels."

"I brought Caroline here last week," Max tells him. "She thought the common area was the workers quarters."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Well, let's not base our design options on Barbie's ideas. I went to a party hosted by the Channing's once, and I almost threw up over their choice in drapes. Don't even get me started on their furniture."

"Hey, leave Caroline alone, she's awesome," Darcy warned him.

"There was that vagina bed stage," Max mutters.

Darcy elbows her. "Not helping."

Tony holds up his hands in surrender. "I like Barbie just fine, but her parents have no taste."

Darcy snorts. "Coming from the the flying Dr. Pepper can."

"Keep it up, and I'll make a suit for you and Maxine over there," Tony threatens.

Max gasps. "Don't you dare!"

"I don't want one of your damn compensation suits," Darcy agrees. "And you do _not_ want to know what I'd do with it if you gave me one."

Tony gorans. "What about as a bodyguard? Like, say all of this works out. Appointed officials have some pretty iffy security."

Darcy shrugs. "Not right away. If I've got a Stark Tech suit following me around, people are going to ask questions."

Max nods in agreement. "We wanna prove ourselves on our own merits before the world knows we're Starks."

"Give it a couple years and then ask again," Darcy says.

"And we get to pick the color scheme," Max adds quickly.

"Besides," Natasha interjects, "Between me, Clint, and a few other trusted... _friends_... well, they won't ever be unprotected."

"Yeah, well thanks for the reassurance Natashalie, but I still worry about my children, even if they are taser wielding tough as nails mini-peppers, despite the fact that they have no biological relation to her, which is scary, come to think of it." Tony rattles off.

"Hey I would love to have Pepper as my mom, she's pretty much already adopted me and Darcy," Max speaks up.

"That she has, I love that woman so much, she's a badass conduit of feminine symbolism," Darcy said with pride.

"And also still not talking to you," Max adds, sending Tony a pointed look.

"Seriously. Are you gonna get your shit together and fix that any time soon?" Darcy demands.

Max folds her arms. "We can't do everything".

"Friday please tell me you recorded that last statement for future use," Tony begs the AI.

 _"Sorry boss, but Darcy and Max asked me to delete any audio or video of them that you would use for blackmail purpose"_ Friday replies smoothly.

Tony swears he hears a smug undertone in her voice.

Tony stares at the ceiling incredulously. "How the hell do they convince you to do this?"

Max scoffs. "cause she loves her big sisters, duh."

Tony merely grumbles out a response, burying his face in one hand.

Darcy pokes him, catching his attention. "Now, do we have to call Pepper and fake an emergency to get her to come down here, just to have you two in the same room. Because if we do, she'll be double pissed at you, firstly for the original issue, and secondly at you for making us resort to such lengths"

Max dangles Tony's phone in front of his face. "Or you can act like an adult and just fucking call her."

"That was in my pocket," Tony observes wryly.

"And Darce got it out of your pocket. Point?"

Tony rolls his eyes. "You are two of the wealthiest girls in the world. Pickpocketing, really?"

Darcy shrugs. "Gotta keep sharp. Quit deflecting. Call."

Tony almost reaches for the phone before retracting his hand quickly.

"You know I'm not sure she's even in the country right now, and if she isn't there could be some major time differences-" he began, trying to weasel his way out of calling, only for Max to interrupt.

"You have five seconds before I grab that phone and call her and say me and Darcy have been mugged and one of us was shot," she threatens with narrowed eyes.

Tony matches her look with one of his own. "You wouldn't put her through that," he quickly counters.

"To stabilise this fucked up pseudo family of ours, you bet your ass I would," Max replies calmly, as Darcy joins her at her side.

"Really wanna test her?" Darcy challenges.

Tony still doesn't move, his eyes darting between the two as he refuses to take the phone.

Finally Max has enough and breaks the silence. "Ok, you have three seconds or I'll call and tell her it was _you_ that got shot saving us."

Tony stands there, stubbornly crossing his arms. "I'm calling your bluff."

Max seemingly relents for a moment, her arms falling to her side, and for a second Tony thinks he won, before she quickly turns to Darcy

"New plan, you run and call her, I'll hold him off," she tells her twin.

Tony barely has time to process the turn in conversation as he questions, "Wait, wha-" He barely gets out before he's was tackled to the floor by Max.

Darcy, meanwhile, is running full tilt down the hall and dialling the phone, only stopping when she hears the dial tone and begins to summon up some rather impressive fake sobs as she hears Pepper's voice answer on the other end of the line.

"P-P-Pepper?"

Tony meanwhile is still struggling under Max's weight, and tries screaming out down the hall, hoping Pepper will hear him. "They're lying! Everything is fine," he calls out before resuming his struggle to extract himself from beneath his daughter. "Max, get off me damnit!"

Max however quickly reaches into her bag and retrieves one of Darcy's spare beanies and promptly shoves it in Tony's mouth, effectively gagging him.

"Mppphhh!" Tony tries calling out from behind the gag, though it's rapidly becoming clear it's useless.

Darcy continues sobbing into the phone. "W-We were going o-out to see Caroline, a-and we got mugged!" She gasps for breath. "A-And Dad didn't have any of his suits b-because you know how M-Max gets about him we-wearing them out in public," she makes a near choking sound, "And he was sho-" she lets the end of the word hand there as she continues to cry.

Max bites down on her fist to keep from laughing.

Darcy sniffles. "I-I don't know if he's gonna make it, t-the doctor's said-" she lets another sob loose. "...Ok...yeah...please Pepper, we really need you right now...ok, I'll see you when you get here...and Pepper, I-I love you so _muuuch_ ," she stifles fake sob as she hangs up.

She turns to Max with a triumphant grin as Max shove off Tony and to her feet.

"And that is how it's done," Darcy smirks as she walked back towards the two.

Max mock bows. "Damn, somebody get this chick an Oscar."

Darcy merely shrugs. "Eh, I'd prefer a BAFTA."

Tony finally regains his footing and stands up, quickly pulling the beanie out of his mouth.

"I'm disowning you both," He declares weakly, as he tries to get the taste of yarn and shampoo out of his mouth without spitting on his floor.

Max scoffs. "Like hell."

Darcy hooks an arm through one of his and rests her head on his shoulder. "Pepper wouldn't let you."

Max mimics her twin on the other side. "She loves us, with or without you."

Tony glares at the tops of their heads. "Blasphemy."

"No, they're actually right," Pepper's voice comes from behind them.

All three spin to face her with guilty expressions.

"Uh," Darcy shuffles her feet nervously, "how long have you been standing there?"

Pepper raises one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Long enough."

"I'm not sorry," Max sets her jaw defiantly, "And I would do it again."

Darcy nods. "I'm embarrassed, but not sorry."

"You two have shit to sort out," Max says, motioning between Tony and Pepper.

"And we will lock your asses in a closet to do it if we have to," Darcy concludes.

Pepper smiles softly at the girls. "Not necessary. We can be adults."

"One of you can, at least," Max mutters.

"Right… well," Darcy grabs Max's elbow and starts tugging her down the hall, "we'll leave you to it."

"We're not gonna eavesdrop?" Max hisses as they round the corner.

Darcy shudders. "Do you really wanna be eavesdropping if they _really_ make up?"

Max grimaces. "No."

"Didn't think so."

"So… we're done fixing the world for today?"

Darcy nods. "For today."

"Cupcakes?"

"Cupcakes."

* * *

 **And there you go, the first of potentially many adventures of Darcy and Max XD**

Drop a review if you want more, and to let me know what you thought of this collab work.


End file.
